Does being an airline geek ruin TV? Apple’s “Tehran” had me crying!

This is supposed to bee Amman Airport in Jordan – apparently a Qantas hub!

OK, we’ve had doom and gloom and all sorts of other dire aviation news all year, so now its time for a bit of tongue in cheek comedy! Well it would be funny if the subject matter hadn’t been so serious.

TEHRAN is about an Israeli agent who goes to Tehran to short circuit the Iranians nuclear reactor anti-aircraft defence systems via a backdoor hack, entering through the Iranian Electric Company in Tehran. The Israeli Air Force is about to bomb the aforesaid reactors.

Last point first. The F-16 and F-15’s shown on the tarmac are supposed to fly from Israel to southern Iran in 40 minutes. Simply impossible. That sort of helps kill belief in the plot by itself. The distance from Tel Aviv to Bushehr is around 1,000 miles in a straight line. That would mean they would have to fly at their maximum speed, at high altitude, and be spotted before the were even half way across Iraq. Never mind mid range refuelling, and get back.

However the worst part was the utter dependence of the first episode on a an airport (supposedly Queen Amalia International in Amman, Jordan) and a flight to Delhi.

Mossad, Israeli intelligence has hacked the engine management computer of the Jordanian aircraft to make it emergency land in Tehran.

Looks like a 737 to me!

When it takes off the interior appears to be an A320, the first exterior shot is a 737. The next exterior shot of it flying appears to be the rear end of a CRJ possibly, by the time it lands it appears to be an A320 (you can see the end of the wing), miraculously it morphed int a 787 Dreamliner! By the time it takes off again, the aircraft has gone back to being a 737, you see the nose, then the wing, then it morphs back into a 787 and the livery has clearly been repainted to that of United!

In flight shot

But let’s not think that was the biggest travesty, because oh no, the opening sequence was the best one of all! Huge letters declared AMMAN AIRPORT, JORDAN. But just a minute that’s nothing like its layout, hold on is that an Emirates A380? A Hainan A330? And is that a Qantas 744? And those aircraft lined up at the bottom of the screen, could they be…? Yes! they’re Qantas 737-800’s! So thats where we’ve all been flying? Not Australia at all, its all been just a con?

When it lands its so clearly a 787

When it takes off again its a United 787!

I really, wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, am I mad? Its so painful to watch something meant to be so serious where nobody can be bothered to do even basic research.

I had the same problem with films like Saving Private Ryan. The whole film was shot in southern Ireland which has beaches like that on the Normandy coast during D-Day in 1944. Except the beaches in Normandy were North facing, and the sun was in front of the invading allied troops, not behind them as it is in the film. There are gazillions of other issues I’ve found over the years, I can’t help but notice this stuff, knowing it ruins so much and I feel the enjoyment slip away, you can’t un-see what you’ve seen, and my brain cries out even as I bite the end of my tongue off trying not to say anything!

I’m used to Americans having no idea about geography – just take a look at the original Top Gun film from the 1980’s if you want to see a plot dependent on geographical distortions that run into thousand of miles! But this inner geekishness, while it recalls facts fast is amazing, but when it spoils things?

I know you all have differing levels of it – how do you cope?