Really? You couldn’t make it up…

You’re on a Ryan Air flight and things aren’t moving as fast as you might like at Malaga airport is southern Spain. So you casually open the emergency escape and walk out on the wing, sitting for a while to take the world in as others try and talk you down. Eventually you’re arrested for breaching local security laws.

A male JetAirways pilot and a female pilot fall out vociferously- in flight – he gets so annoyed he actually slaps her round the face. I can see the hashtag #metoo flying about at supersonic speeds.

And in truly cynical style, Southwest has just paid out $15m dollars to part settle a class action case it was a party too. Plaintiffs – twenty of them got together to sue Delta, United, American, US Airlines and Southwest, originally because they alleged that during 2009-12 and possibly since, these airlines which held 80% of all US seat capacity, used a system that showed artificial seat availability and inflated prices.

Southwest hasn’t just paid up -it’s agreed to provide information to the plaintiffs to sue the other airlines.

The irritatingly acronymed USB3 that remain, Delta, United and American are fuming, especially Delta.

Southwest say settling allows them to focus on business and they admitted no liability. Delta says only it’s hardworking staff were responsible for selling seats.

If you smell something, it’s not jet fuel, I promise you.